Friday, March 16, 2012

The sixth day after you were gone...

Today is the sixth day after you were gone... the sun comes out today, bright and shiny and if you were still here, you would be sunbathing at the balcony... but you were not there.  Weather was bad in the past few days, the sky was dark and cloudy and it kept on raining and raining, just like what's happening in my heart.  Daddy and I visited your grave again yesterday and wanted to make sure that you're doing ok there; do you feel lonely there?  Or you feel better when Kimmy is not around bugging you...

After you were gone, all the memories with you play over and over again in my mind, from the day you were brought home and till the day you were gone.  I always wanted to ask you... but probably you won't be able to answer me... how come you go away so quickly?  Didn't you love mommy and daddy?  Didn't you want to play with us and sleep with us?  Or did you blame mommy and daddy hadn't pay all the attention you wanted to you?

I am not able to sleep well since you're not gone... whenever I closed my eyes I see you... seeing you play and seeing you being naughty... tears ran down my cheek and there's no way I could stop.  I'd cried until my eyes were completely red and tired and I just couldn't keep them opened anymore... then I would fall asleep...

Daddy seemed doing ok... not because he didn't miss you but because he is the only guy in the house, he said he must stay tough so that he can take good care the rest of us.  I know that daddy loves you very much, he misses you too.  You know that daddy is always a very happy person and I've never see him cried but after you were gone, he cried... which I've never seen him so sad before... I then realized that you're so important to him and he loved you a lot... really a lot!

Probably people around me cannot understand why I am this upset... in their eyes, you were just a pet... a dog that was owned by us but for us... you're family... you're my baby boy... even though you were naughty and hard to train, you're still my baby!

Seeing you go is the hardest thing I've ever go through in my life, seeing you taking in the last breath and then you were gone forever; you had bring away a little piece of me... my heart was shattered from the second you were gone.  Even though I know that this wound would heal but I also know that it wouldn't be completed because that little piece of me is always with you!

I've promised you before I'd stay with you until the very last minute... and I did keep my promise!  I'm glad that mommy and daddy were staying with you at that moment.  Thank you so much for these six happy years and all those memories will be kept in my heart forever... they are not going anywhere and you'd always be with us.

If you've gone to the dog's heaven, please be a good boy and play happily with all your pals... no need to worry mommy as daddy will take good care of me and your sisters.  If there is reincarnation, please don't be a dog again, I wish you would reborn as a little boy, a brave little boy that will be growing up in a very loving and joyful family, everyone in that family gives you all their love and let you grow up with all the love you need.

Please remember that mommy and daddy really really love you so so much... and we'll keep you in our hearts forever!

Love you XOXO


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